In my usual silly backasswards way, I'm giving you an end-of-the-year list, but this list has nothing to do with this particular year (2007).
This is a list of the top 15 movies I used to watch after school from 1984-1988, starting with the year I was 11 and we got a VCR. I'm ending it at 1988 just to make it an even 4 years to pull from. And yes, one of my top favorite things to do when I got home from school was to watch movies that we had taped from HBO or whatever- we rented movies constantly, too, of course, but these are some of the movies we always had that I kept revisiting. I also watched a lot of MTV. Then I would probably read and do my homework and dread the next day at school. Anyway, here we go in no particular order:
1) Rear Window
2) The JerkI'm sorry, I have to say it: "He hates these cans!"
3) The African QueenI still have a great fondness for this one. Actually, this is the first movie we recorded (off the Superstation).
6) Mr. MomI don't care what you say, I like this movie. I'll have to put it on my Netflix queue right now- I haven't seen it in years and years.
7) National Lampoon's VacationThe Wagon Queen Family Truckster looked a lot like the giant green & wood-decal Buick Electra station wagon we had for years.
9) Sixteen CandlesSome of the greatest nerds/geeks/dorks to ever grace the silver screen.
10) Amadeus"Mediocrities everywhere..I absolve you."
11) The Man With Two BrainsMy favorite Sissy Spacek performance.
12) Stir CrazyThe end bogs down, yes, but there's some cute stuff in here. Besides, I used to love Gene Wilder, which reminds me... 13) Blazing Saddles 14) War Games The 1980's were a terrifying time in that you could not escape Eddie Deezen. Fear of nuclear war pales in significance next to seeing that horrifying visage and hearing the high, nasal keening of its voice. 15) Star Wars Thank you.
Look at these dear little bunnies doing their beautiful show jumps! No, I didn't know there was such a thing as bunny show-jumping, either.
A-Fucking-Dorable. Really. I love the way some of those rabbits stop for half-second before the hurdle, seemingly calculating vast equations of height, speed, and distance before springing so neatly over the obstacles.
Can't you just see me show-jumping rabbits for a living?
That line is from "A Charlie Brown Christmas", which I can recite for you, on command, in its entirety. Well, almost. I have it mostly memorized because I had the show on one of those 12" book and record read-along things when I was little and I listened to it A LOT. There are a couple of small moments they cut out, though, because they're sight gags that won't work on a record. But I can still disturb Jeff with my ability to imitate the characters' voices.
Anyway, wanna get small and walk around in my Christmas tree and look at some of my favorite ornaments? If you shrink yourself down to a height of about 3 or 4 inches, that would be ideal.
We'll start at the top of the tree with this year's topper: a chicken puppet, dressed up with ribbons and holding an ornament in its beak. Note the egg. This is the same chicken that won the Puppetry Slam spelling bee a few years ago. Jeff and I always use a puppet to top the tree with. Last year it was the Cheese puppet, who was made festive with the addition of a large red-cellophane-frilled toothpick.
Here, let's walk out onto the end of a branch so we can see two ornaments at once. Careful! Look, it's Jack in Christmas Town... and right over there is the neat new See 'n' Say ornament we just got...again, it really works. You know how to do it- just push the arrow to the animal you want to hear and pull the string. Oh, I'm sorry, let me help you...oof...you have to push really hard since we're small and stuff...
Sorry, Mr. Martini, we didn't know it was going to be that loud. This is the J. Otto Siebold penguin and he's great. We got him a few years ago back when the Nordtrom in Perimeter Mall decked out the whole store with J. Otto-themed decorations. Yes, Olive was there too. The decorations were among the greatest I've ever seen! Plus, their big shopping bags were covered with great Siebold art, too. Alas, now they only do typical stuff.
OK, there's a nice little hollow here with something really neat in it. See it? It's a Superfriends lunchbox! And hey, get a load of the thermos that came inside! I always take the thermos out and hang it next to the box, of course. GOD, I used to love to watch Superfriends, and I especially liked those "Safety Tips". The one I remember the most is the one where a girl on the street gets something in her eye and WHAM Superman lands right in front of her and booms "DON'T RUB YOUR EYE!" Superman says when you get something in your eye, pull your upper eyelid over the lower one and gently move it around a little bit. That's worked for me maybe once or twice, but on the whole I'd say that's a faulty Safety Tip.
Aaaahhhh, bubble lights. I love bubble lights, don't you? They're a bitch to get on the tree properly, but they're so great. For years I didn't know that if a light won't bubble, that doesn't necessarily mean it's broken. Just unscrew it, hold it upside down, and shake it up and down really good and when you turn it back upright, hey, it's bubbling again!
Here, let's just stand here for a bit and warm our hands on the bubble light....ahhh, that's nice.
Uh, oh- 3:30 already? Sigh...I'm sorry, I gotta go. I have to get the oil changed in my car and wrap some Christmas presents, which is damn near impossible to do when you're 3 inches tall. But thanks for doing that with me- that was totally fun.
Note: I apologize in advance to any of my male friends who may be made uncomfortable by me talking about my underwear, but that's a risk you take when you read some chick's blog.
Look at this bra. And I don't need to say that's not me wearing it in the photo, that's a model of course. Isn't it adorable? It looks like a bra that a great big girl in an R. Crumb drawing would be wearing while dancing around in a thought cloud over his head. It also looks like something Minnie Mouse would wear, if she had any breasts to put in them, that is. (That came out sounding catty, but it's not, it's just a true statement!) When I first saw it in the store, I had no money and almost disregarded it to keep myself from buying another cute bra, but I couldn't help it. I tried it on just for fun and to see what it looked like, and as soon as I put it on, it was all over. It looked hilariously, ridiculously wonderful on me AND it was so surprisingly comfortable. Well, I had to have it.
As soon as I got paid I ran back and bought it. Yay!
You might be thinking to yourself "So you bought a new bra, big deal." You should know that it's fairly difficult for large breasted girls to find attractive bras that fit right and comfortably, and I'm already very selective about my underwear. I like most of my stuff to be simple, but not boring, and I like to have a few pieces that are cute and pretty, but not too ornate and fussy or too sleazy and slutty or anything. So I was particularly excited about this find- and it looks even better on than that picture would suggest. Apparently this particular type of bra is called a "balconette", which is certainly appropriate- it turns your breasts into a little (or not) balcony you can almost use to carry various objects if your hands are full. Honest, I wouldn't be surprised if I could carry a cup of coffee across the room using only my boobs in this bra. And the funny thing is, this thing came with these optional little air pads you can slide into a little pocket in the cups if you really want to throw down with that "bubble up" effect. I don't think I'll be using the pads, but I tucked them in my underwear drawer just in case.
The only problem is I can't wear the bra under smooth knit shirts because of that dear little tiny red ruffle that's at the top of the cups. But underneath any button-up shirt it's good to go!
You should know that I sometimes make decisions for the most pathetic reasons. Case in point: remember that Publix on Powers Ferry I was talking about in that Thanksgiving post? Which is probably the closest grocery store to my house? Well, I've been totally avoiding going to that store because I used to work with this griefmongering middle aged woman that's now the floral designer in there.
She and I used to arrange flowers at the same company a few years ago until she got laid off. I thought she was out of my life! I thought I would never see her again! It was all so mystifying because even though I was always very nice and helpful to her, she just hated and resented me and talked ridiculous made-up middle school shit about me to the other people at work. These people would all come up to me, completely weirded out, and say "God, I don't know what her problem is with you, Amy! What the fuck?" After she got laid off, I'd heard she'd gotten a job doing flowers somewhere in Vinings, which is why I'd written off the possibility of ever having to hear those unending litanies of everything bad that had ever happened to her (and continued to happen to her) in her life.
"What the fuck?!" is exactly what I was thinking when I walked into the Publix after work to get tomatoes and there she was at the floral counter, smack dab in the middle of the produce section. And all the tomatoes were right next to her counter. Shit.
So I slinked guiltily around the store like Igor on some dark errand, willing her not to see me. At one point I saw her go in the back for something and I ran over, grabbed some tomatoes, and hightailed it out of the store. I'm thinking she probably works there on weekdays from 10:00 to 6:00, roughly. So I try to only go there if I can be reasonably sure I can shop there in peace.
Isn't that so ridiculously cowardly and pathetic of me? Believe me, I know- but I can't help it. It's like Jerry Seinfeld avoiding Larry Miller as the scary doorman in that one Seinfeld episode.