You die, Joe!!

I found this great old book in a Junior League thrift shop about a week ago:

Guerrilla Wife???!! Wow! I bought it just for the title and the cover alone, which I thought were pretty funny. I mean, seeing as how the woman is a self-described "guerrilla wife", you'd think she'd opt for a pair of pants instead of the long full skirt with crinoline. I guess she's rolled up the sleeves of her shirt and that's as casual as she gets- that's the only fashion concession she's making in this guerrilla wife business.

And it seems that the Guerrilla Husband, who's fleshed out by the illustrator as sort of a bus-and-truck edition of Clark Gable in "Mogambo", has been through some shit, since his shirt's ripped all to hell. But the more I look at it, the more those rips with brown skin showing through look more like she just tried to beat him up with a caramel apple.

And take a look at the elaborate endpapers:

Yeah, I forgot to take the price tag off. But books were half off that day, so I got it for two bucks instead. Anyway, I like to look at this beautiful scene as a sort of Bizarro Universe version of the "Jolly Holiday" scene from "Mary Poppins". Surely you remember that- when Julie Andrews and Dick Van Dyke leap magically into Dick's sidewalk pastel drawing, then they frolic around an animated English (and yet somehow American) countryside? And they encounter a barnyard full of farm animals that sing "Oooohhh, it's a jollly holiday with Maarrryyyyy..."? Yeah.

What's it about? Let's read the flap and see. Well, hey! Turns out it's a memoir! Here's what it says:

"This is charming Mrs. Spencer, who went to the Phillippines as the bride of her mining engineer husband. Life on Masbate [my italics] was pleasant: plenty of servants to do the housework, the Saturday bridge parties, and occasional sprees to Manila. Then the Japs. To avoid torture or even murder, the Spencers took to the hills, little dreaming at the time that the jungle would claim them for more than two years. Louise Spencer didn't imagine that...[blah, blah, blah]....They slept on bamboo poles or on the ground, ate strange native foods- rice or homemade peanut butter or anything they could get. They didn't think they could smoke the cigarettes they made from old scraps of paper or drink the cocktails they poured from a kerosene can, but they did. They longed for things like a calendar and some soap, and they nursed one fire for months to save matches. Louise Spencer held her breath while her husband was attempting to repair the only watch they had. The women's clothes were patched, tattered, and mildewed; and they treasured a single moldy old lipstick for the sake of the husbands who could slip back rarely from dangerous guerrilla operations."

Wait...what? The men wanted to put lipstick on when they came back to camp? Hmmm.

Anyway, looks like these American imperialist dogs got a rude awakening. Hey buddy, you should be happy you weren't unlucky enough to be in the fuckin' Bataan Death March going on a couple miles away!

Comments

[Heather]

Wow, what a jolly holiday. It's Mary Poppins meets Gilligan's Island! If I didn't have any soap, I know my first concern would be saving the lipstick. That makes complete sense!

[rush]

I'm glad they were able to smoke cigarettes and drink their cocktails.

[Barbara Bryan]

I knew the Spencers personally as a child. The story may look funny now, but these are real people you're talking about, and they really did go through hardships. This is not a movie script. You are caught up in fashion details -- remember, this was the 1940s. Maybe the Hollywood movies are kitschy and funny, but this was the real deal. Louise is to be commended for at least redeeming the time in the jungle by writing a diary. I would like to see you surviving in the jungle -- maybe you would like to pay the FARC a visit in Colombia. Ask Ingrid Betancourt about the "holiday" they gave her!

[Tyrone H]

Barbara Bryan , CALM DOWN! We dont know the Spencers and I'm sure it wasnt a cakewalk living in a JUNGLE - but GEEZ it was over SIXTY YEARS AGO so I think they are over it now LoLz

[Cliff Schuring]

Hello, love to talk to Barbara Bryan, this is Cliff Schuring Jr. son of Cliff Schuring in the book my day is still around and it was not a cake walk and most of it was never talked about. I have been digging up info and you would be shocked at how much Hollywood and the media had on making things seem more appealing to the public to sell the story. Much different world then.

[asymousty]

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