No, no, no, not religious evangelism, of course- Movie Evangelism. Earlier, I made an an agreement with myself that I would refrain from writing about new movies I've seen because millions of people every day write on their blogs about "I saw this movie it's so great wow it's so cool, etc." and who cares.
Well, fuck that (just this once)!
You see, you simply have to go see "Grindhouse" and that's all there is to it.
Here we see the lovely Rose McGowan as Cherry Darling in the first feature of Grindhouse: Robert Rodriguez's "Planet Terror". She's a go-go dancer whose business gets all messed up with oozing zombies, gunshot wounds, missing legs, barbecue, car crashes, many villains, and giant guns. To me, she looks kind of like a young Rosalind Russell, except with big special boots and a touch of sleaziness. This movie also contains some surprise actors, such as the beloved Michael "Hicks" Biehn of Terminator and Aliens fame. One thing I really enjoyed and appreciated was the cheap synthesizer score that accompanied most of the scenes- an extremely authentic touch! Plus, there's plenty of gooey, bloody, suppurating wounds that erupt suddenly, splattering all over victim after victim. Actually, this stuff looks exactly like some runny, viscous, clingy semi-liquid called "Gooze" (a Nickelodeon brand toy) that I used to buy at Toys R Us all the time about 4 years ago. Honestly, I was fascinated with that stuff and I always liked to keep a fresh container of it around to play with absentmindedly while watching a movie or something. Try it, it's fun! Hairy Josh Brolin, who looked like Craig Sheffer hiding behind a fake beard, rounds out the cast. It's damned exciting!
Then we get to the real shit. Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" is the second part of the feature and I don't want to ruin anything for you by telling you anything about it. I just want to say that I haven't felt so gleeful at the end of a movie since I first saw "Shaun of the Dead".
Speaking of the "Shaun of the Dead" guys, they did one of the fake trailers that are sprinkled around the features along with some other ephemera like food ads, cheaply animated ratings notices, and twirly-rainbow announcement tags. I was so happy to see how authentic these trailers were- it reminded me of looking at the weird, battered, bleached-out video boxes that were on the 'Horror' shelves at the little video store we used to rent movies from all the time when I was in middle school.
This movie has completely ruined me over the last few days. I saw it twice last weekend, I've been listening to a bunch of the music in the car, I look on the web for more information about it all the time. Sad, really. But honestly, those of you who've seen some of the movies in my collection- are you surprised that I'm this excited? Honest and for true. A friend of mine really laughed at me when Jeff told him how a long time ago in Best Buy or Borders I went up to the information desk and asked in a sweet and guileless manner, "Do you have "The Corpse Grinders"?" He said I looked like I was asking for "The Little Mermaid" or perhaps "Barbie of Swan Lake". Well, how else do you ask for "The Corpse Grinders"?
They didn't have it, anyway.
Fuckers.
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